Houston, we have a problem

“If anything can go wrong-it will”.

It must be Murphy’s law that when everything starts to work out and you really think you can make it…you have a sudden back strain and you can’t move. The best part of it is that there is nothing you can do, other than do nothing! Meaning that you need to lay down and stay there for some days. Hello, I am on a deadline…Houston, do you copy?

batmanI actually look like Pisa tower, only I am younger and no one pays me a visit! Let’s hope I ‘ll straighten up fairly quickly and get back to you with more research news.

Till then, fingers crossed I ‘ll make it to my deadlines.

Surprise!

coffeeYou wake up and it’s Monday. Another week full of potential, plans and dreams. For starters, you take your dog for a walk (essential), you make a cup of coffee (or two just to be on the safe side) and place yourself in front of the computer screen ready to start doing. Doing? Really?

Rewind. You place yourself in front of the computer screen and you start doubting. Doubting about your week, your schedules, your obligations…hell even about your Christmas decorations lying on your floor for some days now. Doing has never been more challenging than those tinny little instances when you stop and think. So, now what?

Another set of moments when you look at a digital, empty, white space -known as word document- and imagine what you would write on it. Do you think that graffiti people have the same problem? Staring at walls and doors for days? Anyway, I know myself well enough to spot these instances and acknowledge that they are time and energy consuming. My alarm goes on, yelling “save yourself from a day of misery and RE-schedule immediately!”. In other words, restart. Instantly, I press the little red “x” button at the top of the page and go on with my day as if nothing ever happened.

Next scene on Monday morning, I am watching on vimeo a performance that I am writing about. In the first ten minutes, I am completely absorbed, taking notes, making connections, stricken by a million ideas. By the end…Surprise! I find myself thrilled, unstoppable, ready to pin it down with words. There it is! Microsoft word I shall not let you win this time. I am ready for you.

Cause, in the end, we all need a little restart and a lot of inspiration.

Have a nice week everyone!

Trial & Error

It seems that the last two months I am stuck with methodological issues (for my PhD). I simply can’t seem to be able to write down how I do what I actually do. How can I validate my own working as some kind of methodology such as ethnography? I am just doing instinctively what I need to do. And that’s exactly where my problem begins.

In my last supervisor meeting I decided that the best approach is to be honest, so I just went and admitted that I avoid doing what I am expected to do. I prefer studying, watching performances, talking to people but not writing down my own methodology.

As a response, I got this blog! Funny ha? Well, let’s just say that one way or another, the PhD can be a mind blowing lonely process that you need to share or you can go cuckoo really fast! But most importantly, the task given to me is to share my studying/researching schedule as a kind of public commitment. Hopefully, this will work out (fingers crossed) or…so my “dreadful supervisors” think to believe.

For the time being, I have followed my weekly working schedule (#feeling_proud) and right now I am just playing with this blog. Image

Please don’t expect words of wisdom or helpful advices. I am just another confused and stressed PhD researcher on a trial and error process that keeps forever. On another note of course, I remain in love with my research (at least for a day in the week).

Till next week, have fun and enjoy.