I want to break free

excusedI Know what you did last summer‘ should not be a film title but rather a PhD quote for researchers who spend their summers writing and studying. Valid for starters and for those at the finishing line. From April up until now I have been writing, editing, re-writing, re-editing a chapter of my thesis. It has been something like 3 days that I have sent it to my supervisors for some comments. Fingers crossed that it won’t have major changes, just a bit of editing.

It is very surprising for me that every time I read that chapter, I think I have to re-write it since I find new things to add or new thoughts and associations. It is the same thing with my major sources. Every time I study them, I find something new that creates new dynamics and makes me question my findings or my previous line of thinking. This is as inspiring as it is troubling. Inspiring in that my research is something shifting that creates a constant interest and reviewing. Troubling in that I will forever remain in this particular chapter and wont proceed to the rest of the thesis and its questions.

My aim was to continue once submitting the chapter, but instead I find myself stuck in the same spot. No energy to walk on further, no mind for further studying, no willingness to proceed…for now. I imagine it is an in-between space that I have to cross but on the other hand, I believe that sometimes it is necessary -although time consuming- to completely stop researching or studying and have sometime for yourself to re-organize and re-start. Or, to put it slightly different I really want to break free! The question then bothering me is how do you disengage without always having in mind that you are far behind, that you have to stick to your schedule and go on working no matter what. At this point any suggestions from fellow PhD researchers will be very much appreciated. What do you do when you have to go on but yet again you also have to take a break? Do you ever actually have a break without thinking about your research or is it to much to ask?

Good luck everyone and hopefully I will get back with some more challenging questions and news.